The 'Roommate' in Your Head
Here we go again, another blog! No one cares! Give it a rest, bro, you don't even like doing these. Who are you writing for? Stop writing!
The chatter stops, momentarily.
Ugh, see! You're got nothing. Just close the computer. Go to bed...
Sound familiar? Well, it should. Because we all have it... that inner voice of doom. That who? Well, stop reading right now and just take a listen. Is your mind talking to you? Pause for a second and wait... "Ah it is!" Don't be scared, it's normal... maybe you've never even listened to it before, but it's there. That voice that's constantly chattering. In his book The Untethered Soul, Michael Singer likes to call it the "roommate" (get this book!).
"You mean someone's living in my head? That's only people who are in psych wards!" Well, I hate to say it, but yes, it's there... and don't worry it's there for everyone, you're not crazy and you're not asylum ready (I hope). And sadly, there's no way to turn it off. It's just there... So how do we break free from this voice? Well, good question.
First, we have to realize who this voice even is. Before we get started, let's take a deeper look into this roommate concept. Anyone who's gone to college likely has or knows someone with a horrendous roommatepairing. I actually had great roommates in college, but when I was in the hospital, it was a different story. I had four crazy roommates. Here's a little taste of my favorite roommate...
Have you ever stopped to wonder who that roommate is? Or is it talking so much that you've never been able to ponder the question. Is it you? Well, let's take my roommate... guy comes into my room uninvited, completely ruins my days, and puts me in danger. Clearly this guy is not someone I want to be around. And obviously he's not me, just some person barging into my life.If you can hear the roommate, is it you?
No. Well, what do you mean? Of course it is, it's in my head. Well, yes, but you're hearing it, right? When your friends talk to you, do you think that's you talking? Of course not, that sounds ridiculous. You're just observing your friend talking. Right! You see the contradiction?
If you can hear the voice, then there's no way it's you, because you're simply observing... this is a little meta I'll admit, but stick with me... it really makes sense if you break it down. So then who is it? Good question... basically, it's just your subconscious mind, something you picked up from your past, or things you're picking up from the energy field around you.
Think of it like a playlist on your iPhone that is on constant repeat. Yes, you can put it on shuffle, but there are only five or six songs loaded and they keep playing over and over again. Worse yet, all the songs sounds like the top hits from a Korn album (I used to be a fan).
Research shows that 70 percent of the time you're hearing negative feedback.You see what I'm getting at? When we think that this inner voice is us, all we're hearing is negative things over and over again on repeat, then suddenly we think we're a worthless person incapable of achieving anything. Not only that, but when this voice runs our life, we're not even living in this world. Again, a little meta... but if you're constantly listening to the chatter, how can you listen to anything in the present moment? It's impossible, because your mind is trapped in a different world.
You experience it all the time, think about the last conversation you had with someone. Was there a moment where they drifted off into another world and you could tell they weren't listening anymore? What happened? Well, the little voice started chattering and they got caught up and started listening, immediately detaching from the present moment.
So this voice not only makes us think negatively about everything including ourselves but also takes us out of the present moment which is really the only moment that exists.
We have to learn to detach.
There are two ways to do this:
1. Become aware of the voice!
Give it a name. From this day forward I'll name mine Spike, I don't know, that seems appropriate. Now, you can call it out when it starts calling you in.
2. Learn to observe the voice and not associate with it.
"Oh hey, Spike, I see you're back. What interesting things are you going to say today?" And just watch it. This, my friends, is true freedom -- breaking the shackles that chain us, not becoming a slave to the mind anymore. Opening the latch to the outside world so we can climb out of the sewer and see what's on the other side. Then take a walk around and enjoy the real world, one free of sewage that you can truly experience. Sounds easy? Of course not! That's why it's such a problem.
In my next blog, I'll give you an actual exercise where you can learn to detach from this voice in an instants notice.
Stay tuned for more...Did this resonate for you at all? Is your voice pissed reading this? It probably will be because it wants to keep you safe... I'd love to hear what the voice is coming up with? Leave a comment below...